Thank-you for sharing……I had a very long dance with a brooding Scorpio….who harped on my “lack” of humility and extreme strength…..sigh….It took a while to unplug from the need to please and try to be less than for his comfort……but now I feel I’ve set a standard for relating in my romances…..
I still appreciate Scorpios….some of them feel wonderfully loving…..I remember my gut reaction when I met him…..he’s lovely but trouble…too many politics….and yet I still managed to slip into the abyss…..I learned to trust myself more….my intuition. Your other examples were experiences I also had….but the brooding scorp….was the most painful to my sense of well-being. We can’t even be friends and I tried…… I learned to accept myself completely……
Now I’d like to create more committment …..perhaps if I keep my promise to myself and actually stop smoking….sigh….I’ve broken that promise to myself a lot……….when I have stopped and gone back to it
…but your post gives me inspiration about why it’s important to how the world is relating to me…
.Thank -you

Love the way you describe the ‘Let-me-abuse-you-because-you-need-it’ dynamic. Have been there too, and yep, realised that in wanting something from them, was also “using” them in a way.

However, in my experience, this wasn’t a bad relationship, it was an experience of growth, and we both ended up evolving enormously within the relationship – right past the abusive nature of it.

Now that relationship is one of unconditional love and support.

Growing to this stage took a combination of yoga, meditation, awareness and therapy, but boy was it worth it.

Namaste,
KL
Kara-Leah´s last blog ..Wellington Hot Yoga Teacher: Manu Moana

I believe it boils down to a feeling of not being on equal ground with the other person, that somehow you need help, advice, fixing, anything.

For myself, I’ve found it’s important to look at my own role in such a relationship.

I know that in the past (and hopefully not again) that there’s a little part of me that “wants” something from the other person. Which really does open the door for abuse. Because when you “want” something from someone, you’re just using them to get what you want. And if that’s the case, they’re likely using you in some way; it’s therefore not about love, and it probably won’t turn out well.

It is so true that, like you said, relationships are a reflection of our inner being.

It can be very hard to admit, however. It’s easier to feel victimized. Or to say to oneself that a bad relationship is a growth relationship, which is also untrue.

What a lovely observation.
I think that is important realization to have, experientially not just intellectually, because everyone talks about ‘you can’t love anyone until you love yourself blah blah’ but really it doesn’t hit home until you realize and SEE, as you say, that your relationship with yourself is the one you have with other people.

Hi Jessica,
Thanks for stopping by!! New Zealand IS sort of heavenly, at least where we live and now that we’re coming into summer!

Hi Jen, yeah trusting yourself is a big life lesson I think because it comes up A LOT in readings as well! Thanks for leaving your comment.

Thanks KL, glad you could relate to this! Indeed onward and upward.

Can totally relate.

You hit the nail on the head in so many ways.

Such a pleasure to read, and I was nodding my head all the way through, uh-huh, yep, oh yeah!

So now?

Onward and upward!
Kara-Leah´s last blog ..Why sangha (spiritual community) is the most precious thing on your path