1) what happens if you commit suicide?
2) how rare is it to be living your first life? Is that why some people are more successful than others?

Thanks just curious and hoping for a better life if not in this one maybe next

You can find what I believe to be genuine answers to some of your questions in the books ‘Destiny of Souls’ and ‘Journey of Souls’ by Michael Newton:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1567184995/healiandinsig-20

His dad (my ex-husband) went hunting friday morning 12/2/2011. Everyone left except Zach, he never went to school. He went to the garage and got an ax. He busted down his fathers bedroom door. He broke the glass on the gun case and got out the hunting rifle that he paid for himself. He loaded it with deer shells. He went through their house and used the ax on anything he saw that was personal to his father or stepmother. He went into their little office/computer area. He sat down and he waited. He knew about how long his dad would hunt in the morning. This room was just off their living room, no window, very dark without a light. He left the light off. He waited to hear their back door open. He waited for his father to walk toward the living room and get very close to the room he was in. He sat in a chair with his gun on the floor and the barrel resting under his chin. He pulled the trigger. He wanted his father to find him that way I think.

Per the police Zach’s dad is the only living witness. They are not done with the full investigation yet and say they think it is cut and dry.

I think it stings even more because it could have been easily prevented. I begged so many to help me to help him. His father refused to take him to counseling. There are documented police reports, school incidents, etc all showing even from them that my son had significant red flags and anger issues. They all said how important it was to help him. I pleaded and none would.

My son went down so far and so deep. He begged a man he worked for to bring him and his sister to me. That man said Zach gave him my number and name a few months ago and he said just in case. No one knew what he meant.

His dad made him miserable and often tackled him until he was in tears. Then mock him and tell him to be a man.

All he ever wanted was approval. His anger took him over the edge. He left a note addressed to his father and step mother. “Revenge is a bitch isn’t it. You can suck my cock. You can go to hell. I’ll see you there.”

No one would listen. No one would help. They all knew my son needed help. They knew he was miserable. They knew I was broke. They knew there was barely money to pay the rent. They knew he was suffering, they would call me with their concerns. Teachers, administrators, a family counselor Zach was not taken to, the police. They knew. I begged them for help.

Since my son passed my oldest daughter, myself and my boyfriend have experienced what some might call activity.I have a very strong feeling of dread like there is something more than what is known. Something happened to my son beyond what they are sharing. I feel something I can’t explain so very strongly well beyond the grief that there are no words for.

I have a couple of photos. They were taken in his room in my home. In one of his bed there are very clear lights with something in the middle. In the other one, look at the left side of the mirror shown. If I had to do a shadow outline of my son…

My oldest daughter shared that the wallpaper on her cell phone kept flashing to Zach’s school photo. Then she said a shortcut icon of my number called “mom” kept jumping up numerous times. I can’t shake that there is something my baby may be trying so hard to share. It is frustrating because sometimes I have dreams and experiences I can’t explain about others I am very close to. But no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to for him. I just go to his room, tell him I love him and that I am so very sorry and ask him to please keep trying.

I know that this is a lot to ask, but if you can feel or sense anything from my baby I would be eternally grateful if you might be able to help.

Sometimes souls will purposely set up difficult circumstances in order to learn something – I don’t know if that was what this soul intended. It does seem rather extreme, doesn’t it, that a soul would choose that.

You didn’t ask about this so this is a bit of unsolicited advice, but I wondered if you needed something to learn to turn off that empathy of yours when you need to and have it on only when appropriate. You sound like an untrained empath because you’re really feeling the sadness, but it doesn’t help another soul to feel like that – it only makes you feel worse! Anyway, if you’re open to the idea, here are some links which may be of interest:

When it Hurts to read the News – http://www.psychicbutsane.com/empathy/empaths-do-you-read-the-news

Signs that you’re an Empath – http://www.psychicbutsane.com/empathy/signs-that-you%E2%80%99re-an-empath