CRISIS! My life fell apart two months ago. Please forgive me. The Anna you knew no longer exists.

Ok, I admit this is going to be a self-absorbed rant and temper tantrum. But there are some juicy bits in there towards the end (including things I’ve screwed up because everyone loves reading about that).  But it’s a very necessary rant and I need to have it right here, right now, on my blog.

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Recently I found myself not wanting to write anymore for the first time in a long time.  Maybe you didn’t notice but I haven’t been blogging so much.

That was weird for me because writing is one of the things I love to do most.

The reason why I no longer wanted to write was because…

I’d outgrown my old website; my old archives; the way it looks; the things I write about.

The mysterious-looking/bitchy-looking/psychic-looking  (according to the various email feedback I get) – woman on the banner that you see at the top no longer looks like me and doesn’t feel like me.

The way I wrote in November is no longer my voice.

Four months ago, in November of last year, that WAS my voice.

Then I moved to Australia (in November).

Since I got here, I have had the most unbelievably bizarre and growth-inducing set of experiences.  This has without doubt been the most challenging, strange and unsettling period of my life so far.  And I say that as someone who grew up as a teenager in a household that was full of all sorts of weird (and at certain times, traumatic) things happening.

The things that have happened here in Australia have woken me up and pissed me off.

At some point I will probably write about some of the weird experiences I have had here (there are enough to fill a book and if I tell the truth about some of the weird people I have met I will probably get sued!)  But for now I’ll just say that it is a grounding, waking-up, getting-REAL process I have gone through.

That means I went from being a spiritual flake to realizing, oopsy, I’m human too – I better get a life!

Maybe you have had something similar happen to you – especially if you’re young and a professional psychic too.

It happens.  I mean, before I became a professional psychic, I spent my life denying the spiritual side of me so much and pretending to everyone that I wasn’t psychic.

Of course, when I finally ‘came out’ as a psychic and started my business, I swung the other way and I was SO spiritual and ungrounded for a while.

I also LOVED everyone I came into contact with so much (and still do) that I was a total pushover, had no boundaries and got walked on left, right and centre.

BUT now that I’ve been in the psychic role for a while, I stopped people from taking advantage of me, have settled into it a bit more, and I got comfortable with it. Then I came to Australia and underwent some sort of supercharged growing up/transformation process.

So when I no longer wanted to write recently, I knew it was because I was afraid of revealing who I am to the people who read my blog.

Afraid of writing because there was a real discrepancy between who I am in my work, on my blog and who I am in real life.

I feel extremely normal.  I am really normal. It’s just that I work as a psychic.  And if I show you who I really am, I am probably not spiritual enough to be writing this blog anymore.

Why am I telling you this?  Do you even care?

You probably don’t. A bit like how gay people need to come out and tell you how gay they are, and you assure them you don’t really care whether they’re gay or straight.

Also, as long as I do good readings and write about helpful things that people can find by typing ‘what are the akashic records’ into Google, I’m OK, right? I don’t need to get this out onto my blog, do I?

Actually, I do.

It means I am going to give myself permission to go in slightly different directions.  I am setting up a blog about how to become a professional psychic and make money AND stay sane.  I guess I am warning you about this new direction. This website will look a whole lot different soon.

Plus, I’m taking this opportunity to whine about the role of psychic and how weird it can be sometimes.  After all…

Some People think that because you’re psychic you must be superhuman and omniscient.

No I don’t know what you had for dinner last night.  I can’t help you with the lottery numbers. Yeah, if I can’t guess your girlfriend’s name, I must be a fake psychic. You’re probably the 100^th person to have asked me that  this year, actually.

Some People think that I should be a spiritual beacon of light all the time.

I recently fell out with a friend of mine who, when I was going through this, the most challenging period I’ve experienced so far, and needed some caring support, informed me that I needed get it together and to stop being so miserable and selfish because my role here on Earth was to be a spiritual beacon of light for people on my website, on my Facebook and on my Twitter.  Well, that’s not authentic for me, and his comments really pissed me off.

I doubt that anyone sane ever thought I am the Dalai Lama, but judging by the messages I get via my contact form, some people think being a professional psychic equates to being some superior spiritual being and they think I got all the answers.  I doubt YOU, dear reader, ever thought that, but for those people -  Newsflash! We’re all psychic and you have your own answers.  Maybe they aren’t the same as mine.

Being psychic or interested in spirituality doesn’t make you an enlightened being or a guru, does it?

Occasionally I get drunk, cry and do stupid things (especially these last few months after I spend half an hour madly chasing massive flying cockroaches around my apartment, trying to kill them, then when I finally manage to kill them, I go outside only to not believe my eyes when I find a raging river flowing down my street. After all, this is Australia!)

I swear a lot when I’m with my mum, who swears as much as me but gets angry with me when I am ignorant enough to do it in public.

I don’t believe in enlightenment, I think ascension is a load of crap, nor do I believe in twin flames and I have no idea what indigo children are anymore because my spirit guides don’t know what I’m on about when I ask them.

Yes, I am psychic but if I like you and you kiss me, I temporarily lose my psychic abilities and can’t tell you anything about yourself except that you’re really hot.

Actually, because of this reason, I consistently make REALLY bad decisions when it comes to men, not just once or twice, BUT most of the time.

And to top it all off, I think that the concept of old souls, young souls, and sort of evolved souls is a kind of conceit.  I have met lots of non-spiritual people who showed no conscious interest in their spiritual evolution, but they were people who seemed very evolved to me.

I’m sorry if I disappointed you!

You can still book a reading though AND it will be accurate, as long as we don’t start making out half way through.

PS – please don’t throw rocks. I don’t think I could cope, but please leave comments!